Tuesday, November 02, 2004

news.

recent news are so depressing, sometimes when i just read e papers n look at e fotos i can't help but shed a tear or two:

first there was the attack on the russian school. man carries in their arms the small frail bodies of the victims, covered in blood. the sheer fraily and fragileness of the human form photographed in full gore.

massacre of the 49 iraqi army recruits. bodies strewn all over the floor.

and now huang na.

thinking of the crimes, sometimes i really harbor this dark wish that these culprits will die a horrible death, like get their bodies ripped up or something, so they'll know, even for that split second or so, just how much excruciating pain they've brought to their victims. and that's not even considering the damage they've done to the victims' loved ones. but thinking like that lowers me to their level, no?

i really wonder sometimes if there is really a God or Jesus or Buddha or Allah up there. if there is, why do they let these people die? innocent school children trapped in a bomb laden school just cos their govt has problems with rebels? 49 men who love their country and want to do their part to restore order in their war-torn homeland, brutally murdered just cos those who killed them oppose american rule? an effervesenct, cheerful girl killed, and probably raped by a man her mother thought was a close fren? what on earth is the world coming to?

i'm a buddhist. i've taken refuge in buddhism, which is roughly the equivalent of baptism, i tink. which means im supposed to be like devout. but many times i cannot help but question my own religion, or the very existence of religion. i mean i tink its wonderful that many ppl are fiercely devoted to their religion, esp christians like shuaku, tok and leehoo, the faith they show is tremendous. but aren't those up there supposed to help? even the beings up there are really divine i believe they should help everyone on earth who does good, regardless of their religion. i mean it makes no sense if say God doesn't help a buddhist in trouble just cos that guy doesn't believe in Him. if God is really as wonderful as he should be, he'd help everyone, right? cos he can do it, and he's filled with compassion, so he helps anyone who requires help. and that should be the same with Jesus and Buddha and Allah etc. but why do They tolerate the brutal deaths of innocent people? why? what sins are they being punished for? these people didn't do anything wrong, the children were innocent, the recruits did no wrong in signing up with the army to bring much needed security to iraq, huang na was just a 8 year old and she gets raped, then killed? not that i wanna say it, but that's a gazillion times worse than michael jackson, period.

how do we prove that religion isn't just something that we pretend exists? animals were worshipped in the past for phenomena humans couldn't explain -- do today's celestial beings come about the same way? how do we know They really exist, has anyone really seen any of Them? i'm not dissing religion, no matter whether or not They exist, religion does give people spiritual well-being, but sometimes i can't help but be disillusioned with all this religion thing -- makes you really wonder sometimes the da vinci code does hold some truth. i don't believe any of the victims deserved to die. they just did, because humans are psychotic, and no one up there helped, if there's even someone up there at all.

it's sad.

teo spoke at 3:55 PM

***