Saturday, October 07, 2006

An older married couple was sitting on their porch swing one afternoon. Suddenly, the old woman hauls off and slaps the old man's face nearly knocking him out of the swing.
He said, "What was that for???"
She replied, "For being a lousy lover for 45 years!!"
He sat quietly for a moment and then suddenly slapped the old woman nearly knocking her out of the porch swing.
The old woman said, "What was THAT for?"
The old man replied, "That is for know the DIFFERENCE!!"

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Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady
of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of
agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just WAIT until you hear this!"

The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm
down and tell me what has you so excited?" "Well, father" the nun
began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I
heard some of the older boys wagering money!"

"A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest.

"But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun,
"it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a
contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!"

"What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?"

"Well, I hit the CEILING, father."

"How much did you win?"

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A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to
the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially
embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall
asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm
sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to
get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that
we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

"Good," she replies. "Get your own blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

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A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman says, "I'll miss you."

==========

First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

The teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie.

The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

The teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

The teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

teo spoke at 9:42 PM

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